im too far down the road i was scared to go.

my breathing has gotten harder the way you used to make me lose my breath,
only now its followed with a fever and dizzy spells, and some nauease. its just like being in love but with more antidotes. i got cough syrups and pills for all this heavy head congestion. but none of it is making my head and my heart feel any better off.

somenights

i am quite possibly going deaf in one ear. it hurts, ah.
fall asleep alone again tonight, i make this bed but i cant fall asleep in it.

heaven was jealous to merely look fair

by this time my heart and my head are aligned,its easy enough to say that its over and walk away like it never happened. to close the door on months. months spent waiting. im tired of waiting. im tired of being your rainy day.. i feel strange like ive lost something, but i couldnt tell you what, i like how close yet far apart we've become. i love your ideas. i wont wait for you.. but ill wait for him. does that make you jealous? or is it just that you like the idea of having me for all your rainy days? please explain the feelings you have these are mine: hes got this smile that gives me butterflies, almost in a bad way. you are the reason sleep rarely comes. i feel worn out and run down. i feel like i am in a cage. but its as if i put my self here to save me from me. its hard to think that this is all just me maybe protecting my heart from you. im rebuilding the walls, and i swear i wont let you get through this time.

paid programming and commericals.

late night blues, everything always has a blue tint this late at night.
or this early in the morning
i wanna be marketed like an infomerical. something you truly think you need for about two to six days and then you just get stored away, maybe i lied i dont want tobe something youll just toss out.
i want to be the thought in the back of your head and that last glimpse in your eyelids before you fall asleep.
sleep to dream.

if only i could find sleep.
jay z is on tv.. and it says its educational.

everything is tied to you its almost always directly but i realize that they say that each person is seven degrees away from every person on this planet, so maybe its all just a matter of seperation with us, you are my seven degrees. ill be the seperate. i wonder if we wait it out long enough and ignore the voicemails we will just dissolve all together, we will be the seperation. it scares me yet at the same time it seems logical and sound. almost the safebet, im betting im not... sleeplessness is hitting an all time high.
i know none of this will make any sense whatsoever come tomorrow. or the next day..

sleepless dreams become me

im tired like homestrech tired, the i know i made it i just cant get there tired.
i cant breath, like ive been breathing in smog all day.
my lungs feel heavy the way you used to make me feel.
stutter out the words and try to make the feel right anybody can be you if i close my eyes hard enough.

just like a bat beneath the moonlight

there are occasionally people that walk into you it life, that from that very second you are hoping that said person never leaves, that they will be stuck with you forever.
this is how it goes with most my friends. its like we built the standard. we built the idea and now your trying to grasp it.
reguardless its all just a matter of affection. we are all a loving group in a very non loving way. and i love my friends.

meaning of the car crash heart

Sunset Reds.
Skyline Eyes.
15 Mph Hands.
Left Lane Ends Merge Right Heart.
Find The Map.

we are a good thing, she is a bad thing..

so it goes.